The Little Dog’s Guide to Being a Big Dog!

#1 – Appear bigger than you are…

by Sandi Martinez

     “How do you suppose he does it?” asked Moe, the brown and black spotted German Sheppard.
     “Why do ask, don’t you think that’s a tad bit personal?” retorted LaFan the Labrador retriever. 
     Dobi wagged his tail and said excitedly, “he’s probably related to me!  He can do anything, and nothing scares him probably.  That’s why he’s so brave.  I mean look at those legs!  He’s a muscular little guy!” The Doberman said proudly, a smile reaching the end of his pointed ears.
     “Personal or not, he thinks he runs this place!” Moe said sitting stubbornly next to the massage table.
     “Don’t you think the humans can hear you – keep it down?” LaFan said, glancing at the humans with a worried frown.
     “Whatever!” Moe yawned and stretched out on the carpet.
     “You think small dogs can’t handle themselves?” LaFan said smugly.  “I heard things about that dog.  And he walks around like he owns it because he comes with his mother the receptionist to work, every day.  He’s here all the time, and we’re only here when we get lucky and get to get massaged every month!”
     “’Sides, she walks us too, the receptionist does,” said Dobi.
     “What things did you hear about him?” Moe asked curious.
     “Well take his name for example; Samson?  I mean really…” LaFan said, smiling a mischievous smile.
     “Yeah, where’s Delilah?” asked Dobi hopeful at the thought that a smaller female version of Samson might walk through the door.
     “Personally, I think he has to look tough.  I mean he lives around those big mountains where there are mountain lions, bears, and who knows what all is out there…  Not to mention that he was supposedly lifted by that big bird.  I mean, he’s been through a lot that’s for sure; enough to give us all nightmares to last for days.”
     “What are you going on about?” Moe asked exasperated. 
     “You think I’m just telling you stories?  It’s true.  I think there’s a trick to being a big dog in a small body…” LaFan continued, while she licked between her paws.
     “Really?” Asked Dobi interested.
     “Yeah, like #1: Appear bigger than you are. #2: Bark really loud, even if you have a small voice. #3: Exercise daily. #4: bare your teeth and look really, really, really, hungry. #5: Keep your nails sharp and your mind too, while you’re at it. #6: Run really fast when you’re being chased by something really big, but then turn around and run fast the other way, so that the big beast can get tired, and bored… #7…”
     “Hope that his human has prepared a place of rest…” said Moe, his eyes sparkling.
     “Hey, did you ever think of writing a guide for small dogs?” asked Dobi.
     “Well I have, you’re reading it silly!”
     Moe rolled his eyes, and rolled over to his other side, “What about #7?”
     “Meet me after class and maybe you can help me finish that one?” winked LaFan.